Friday, October 13, 2017
Something’s wrong with me – I feel so depressed and I don’t know why. Maybe because my birthday is coming up. I’m getting older and have no one kind of thing. Maybe that’s what it is and yes, that makes me very sad. My stomach is buzzing and uncomfortable. Not enough carbs, maybe. Those always made me happy before. What is it…
This job might be ending – my coworkers have heard rumblings now from everywhere. The woman across the hall, who works for her rich husband, threatened me with it yesterday, too. Told me I’d better start looking now because, at my age, no one would want me.
It’s my birthday on Monday and I turn another year older.
Why do I always let people like that know-it-all say whatever they want without defending myself? Maybe because I know that it makes her feel better. She gets to feel like she is superior because I am only working in a lowly job under a temp contract. She has no idea that I used to work in a position of much greater responsibility and that my abilities go far beyond this job. I know this.
Some things happened that I had no control over. Plus, I made choices in my life that led me to this place. I don’t regret them at all – I put the needs of my children above my own. I put my career aside for them. It looks like a poor choice now as I get older and have no comfy union job with seniority to back me up. But I know better.
And she has never had children. She didn’t have to make the choices that I made. I feel sorry for her because she needs to convince herself that she has a better life than I do. So I let her go on and on about how I should run my life.
When she leaves, after dispensing her “wisdom”, I turn back to my dead-end work and smile to myself.
I’m going home now. I’m feeling a little better. There are a TON of jobs out there. I think I’d find something.
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